For distraction, I often play computer card games. There is one in particular, which is interesting for a special purpose, because every round has a 30% win chance only (guessed average). The game I am using, is "Pyramid" by microsoft, but it could be any other game with a fairly short duration of one round. Combined with my fetishes, it goes like this:
I select a few devices, rope and clothing, whatever seems right at the very moment, put it behind me and start the game.
Whenever I fail a round (70% chance, as said), I have to put on one of the things, that I have selected. A round takes about one minute.
This goes on, until I am unable to play (of course, I make sure, I can wear everything).
Then I take a break and enjoy my situation. I am not allowed to change anything that was added during the game, except to make it more severe, or add something else.
During the break, I might come, I don't have to, and often, I don't want to, because of the next part.
Now I remove, what has stopped me to play and start playing again, except, whenever I have finished a round successfully (30% chance), I am allowed to take off one item.
The whole process takes about half an hour, depending on the break and it gets me up and down quite a bit. Sometimes I get lost during the break or even earlier, sometimes, I repeat the game once or even twice. It is a bit odd to do the third part, when I have come during the break. All in all, it is an interesting mix of self-discipline, anticipation and arousal. I have noticed, that it is getting harder to play well, once I am aroused, making the odds to win even worse. When I am aware of that, I often try to reconciliate, in order to expand the duration of the game. Of course, I want to use all the stuff, that I have prepared but the game adds structure: When I have lost, I HAVE to put on something right away, and when I have won, I CAN'T. And, nevertheless, I am trying to play the best I can.
I should mention, that I don't use any timers or real secure bondage. Timing, except for the break, is done by the game, I have to follow that. Secure and timed for the last step before the break would be ok, just, not my cup of tea.
Perhaps, this game is based on a very old habit, I had started, when I was a child: I used to "punish" myself, for example with handcuffs, having to wear a hood or perhaps other things (can't quite remember) - things, that I liked to do, but needed an excuse for. A while ago, I remembered that, and started punishing myself again. Eventually, i came up with this game.
I wonder, what you others think of this. Give it a try, write comments (even without having tried), etc.
PS: My first idea was to add one item whenever I lose and remove one, whenever I win, but I like the other rule more for the moment, mostly, because I would never win often enough to get "normal" again.
I select a few devices, rope and clothing, whatever seems right at the very moment, put it behind me and start the game.
Whenever I fail a round (70% chance, as said), I have to put on one of the things, that I have selected. A round takes about one minute.
This goes on, until I am unable to play (of course, I make sure, I can wear everything).
Then I take a break and enjoy my situation. I am not allowed to change anything that was added during the game, except to make it more severe, or add something else.
During the break, I might come, I don't have to, and often, I don't want to, because of the next part.
Now I remove, what has stopped me to play and start playing again, except, whenever I have finished a round successfully (30% chance), I am allowed to take off one item.
The whole process takes about half an hour, depending on the break and it gets me up and down quite a bit. Sometimes I get lost during the break or even earlier, sometimes, I repeat the game once or even twice. It is a bit odd to do the third part, when I have come during the break. All in all, it is an interesting mix of self-discipline, anticipation and arousal. I have noticed, that it is getting harder to play well, once I am aroused, making the odds to win even worse. When I am aware of that, I often try to reconciliate, in order to expand the duration of the game. Of course, I want to use all the stuff, that I have prepared but the game adds structure: When I have lost, I HAVE to put on something right away, and when I have won, I CAN'T. And, nevertheless, I am trying to play the best I can.
I should mention, that I don't use any timers or real secure bondage. Timing, except for the break, is done by the game, I have to follow that. Secure and timed for the last step before the break would be ok, just, not my cup of tea.
Perhaps, this game is based on a very old habit, I had started, when I was a child: I used to "punish" myself, for example with handcuffs, having to wear a hood or perhaps other things (can't quite remember) - things, that I liked to do, but needed an excuse for. A while ago, I remembered that, and started punishing myself again. Eventually, i came up with this game.
I wonder, what you others think of this. Give it a try, write comments (even without having tried), etc.
PS: My first idea was to add one item whenever I lose and remove one, whenever I win, but I like the other rule more for the moment, mostly, because I would never win often enough to get "normal" again.
