Bondage fantasies that could come true

As mentioned elsewhere, I have a fantasy to party in bondage and complete cross-dressing including body shaping, wig, jewellery and make-up.

This would obviously require some tolerant people who are into the theme as well as a master or mistress to take care of me. I am definitely not gay but a master would be fine along with my role and he could lend me out as a plaything 😊.

It would not need to be permanent bondage. It is more about having a good time with other people AND sharing my fetishes, because sometimes I feel quite lonely with them. This website is a nice place to share ideas but living them is still very restricted.

For such a party, I would even try to find a styling agency. I know that there are some that are specialised in cross-dressing. And of course the other people on the party would show off with their fetishes as well.

Writing about it here, I even think, it could be an extended weekend in a well protected country house and I wouldn't even mind role changes as long as my favorite role gets enough time.

The biggest problem, except for the real step of looking for a group, is probably that I don't feel like a sub at all. So a simple master-slave game won't work with me. Actually, I see bondage rather as an intensive activity, like dancing, playing games or enjoying art/music etc. - except for the special sensual aspects. Of course that view might change after such a party, it is pure phantasy right now.

One reason that makes me hesitate to even look for a bondage group is that I have no idea what to expect and there is always the risk of trusting the wrong people.

[Like Ra]

I see two major point here:

1- similar kinds/types of fetishes
2- trust

1- Just like you (and I've stated that many times) I'm into B (bondage) but not into DSM. I do not care about role playing, master/slave relationships, tops/bottoms. I simply enjoy bondage. I can even do something completely alone. And as you said this forum/site is a place for similar thinking people.

2- This is the most difficult and dangerous part. Bondage is an art and apart from knowledge and experience it involves feeling the partner and taking full responsibility. Hence bondage masters (like, actually, any kind of masters) are rare.

1- Just like you (and I've stated that many times) I'm into B (bondage) but not into DSM. I do not care about role playing, master/slave relationships, tops/bottoms. I simply enjoy bondage. I can even do something completely alone. And as you said this forum/site is a place for similar thinking people.

2- This is the most difficult and dangerous part. Bondage is an art and apart from knowledge and experience it involves feeling the partner and taking full responsibility. Hence bondage masters (like, actually, any kind of masters) are rare.

Like Ra, I feel your pain on this.  I too, have spent my (fetish) life, searching for such a person.  It is how I ended-up in the BDSM community, in the first place.  I was brought into "The Scene" back in the early 80's, by a neighborhood lady who noticed that I wore "a lot of leather" (I love "dressing for pleasure").  In the mid 90's, I was professionally trained by the (alleged) top Domina in the SF Bay Area.  As she put it, she "did not want to see such potential go to waste".  I worked as a Pro Dom for nearly a decade, until high rents and "redevelopment" drove our "community" out of the area.  I now live out in the peace and quiet of "The Sticks".

One of my greatest skills is in reading people.  I can practically learn a person's life story, simply from eye contact, listening to voice inflections, and watching body language.  I can sense whether my sub is relaxed or close to panic, simply by placing my hand on their back, side, or upper arm.  I could also offer them calming reassurance with that same touch.  (at least, I used to---I may be a bit rusty, now)  I had to be skilled at communicating with a sub who could not speak.  Though I used a gag on only a couple rare occasions, I was trained in "High Protocol", where, "Subs will speak, only when spoken-to!"  I also liked to whisper details of their fantasy into their ears, to help them lose themselves in the adventure.  No, I do not know everything---definitely not!  In fact, I seem to learn something new every day.  Maybe, that is what has kept my interest over all of these years.  I also prided myself on being someone who can be trusted implicitly, with a helpless sub.

On statement #1, you are more right than you know!  In the BDSM Community, the D's, the S's, and the M's all seem to look down their noses at the B's.  I have even heard "Bondage" dismissed as "mere fetishism".  In fact, the Domina who trained me, used those very words!  I say "bullcrap!"  All of the dynamics of BDSM are still present in bondage.  The relationship can be as simple or as complex as desired.  It could be a quick one-off at a play party, or a dedicated lifestyle.  A couple could routinely "switch" roles, with one being the driver, and the other riding shotgun and messing with the radio.  And yeah, "switch" is also looked down upon by the BDSM Community.  I though, as a Dom, have little patience for the "Community's" elitist attitudes.

Which brings me to #2.  Though I have become quite skilled at the D, the S, and the M, I am still a rank novice, when it comes to the 'B'.  In all of my countless sessions, I never once had the chance apply (or experience) serious bondage.  The closest was cuffing subs to a bar or St Andrew's Cross, in preparation for a flogging or other "funishment".  Which brings up the real Catch-22.  To become a bondage master, I would first have to find a bondage master (or "mistress", in my case).  To gain the empathy needed, I would first need to experience the bondage myself (not that I would also thoroughly enjoy such learning).

Anyway, I hope that this brought some answers to your questions.  And no, I was not trying to brag.  In fact, I had intended to keep quiet about my background, until everyone got to know me better.

For 20 years, I was able to wear skirts, nylons, heels and leotards.
Denim and leather as well.
I could dress up in an outfit and get compliments and feel comfortable in knowing that I was accepted.
That all changed in 2018 after the fire.

From that point on, everything changed. No clothing, no friends, no outdoor BBQs, nothing. Even with my one only friend that was able to rebuild, there is now nothing there.

I have found one or two possible play partners, but is into being a girl and dress so, but if I was to dress up…
No Go.
The other one wanted pictures on cocks and that’s all. Nothing else.
So here I am, 70, and nobody to play with.

I still do self bondage, I have a lot of stuff. But, I can’t use my straitjacket or arm binder.

So, I hear you. Bay Area? I’m 200 miles north of SF.

For 20 years, I was able to wear skirts, nylons, heels and leotards.
Denim and leather as well.
I could dress up in an outfit and get compliments and feel comfortable in knowing that I was accepted.
That all changed in 2018 after the fire.

From that point on, everything changed. No clothing, no friends, no outdoor BBQs, nothing. Even with my one only friend that was able to rebuild, there is now nothing there.

I have found one or two possible play partners, but is into being a girl and dress so, but if I was to dress up…
No Go.
The other one wanted pictures on cocks and that’s all. Nothing else.
So here I am, 70, and nobody to play with.

I still do self bondage, I have a lot of stuff. But, I can’t use my straitjacket or arm binder.

So, I hear you.  Bay Area? I’m 200 miles north of SF.

Hey Tinker,  You're only a couple/few months older than me!  I'm now over in the Texas Panhandle, about an hour outside of Amarillo.  The people here are about as exciting as exhibition on drying paint.  Over the past 20 years, I've chased a lot of ghosts in this area.  I'd hear about a fetish event, or a new BDSM club, or a new dungeon space.  But, the info would always be 2 or 3 years old, and whatever I was after would be gone---if it was ever there in the first place (which seemed more likely).

So here I am, 70, and nobody to play with.

Heard! 72 in Phoenix. Must have been some sort of outbreak in our generation....

Maybe all three of us needs to get together for a weekend of fun somewhere.

That would be a blast.

Trying out different outfits, bondages and brainstorming different ideas and techniques.