Bondage advice

[BondageFan2000]

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[essanym]

Can anyone share what has worked with scenarios with bondage sessions?
We are a couple that has only been doing this for 6 months or so. It is pretty new to us. We are only into the bedroom bondage type stuff. Just tying up, with a gag and a blindfold and then the use of toys to pleasure.
How do others start a session? Do you have a code that you might text during the day and prepare that way, or do you just spring it on your other half? Do you use role play? Do you just make out on the bed while watching tv and then whip out the cuffs etc? What kinds of positions are good?
Thanks very much

Lol, I see you've gone ahead and jumped into the deep end of the pool.  I can't speak for the lurkers who never post anything, but most of us who are willing to share our experiences on this forum are doing so solo.  There's a lot of self-bondage discussed here.  As for me, I've only posted solo stuff even though I do have a willing partner.  She doesn't have fetishes like I do so it feels weird to me when I ask her to put me in bondage so I often don't ask.  In case I do decide to ask her involvement, I might just say to her, "I'm needing some rubber time today, would you mind helping?"

When I was in my early 20's, I had a girlfriend and we would start making out and eventually one of us would end up chained to the bed (usually her).  I remember using role play one time with her and it apparently was very effective.  That sort of thing worked in that relationship, at that time.  My current relationship isn't much at all like the aforementioned one because we don't need that.  What you do between you and your partner doesn't have to follow some sort of kink-code unless you want it to.

For you and your partner, there is no right way to do initiate kinky time (as long as you're both consenting).  If you're both into it and both willing to have a conversation about what you like and want, you're doing good.  Just start sharing fantasies and then determine how to make thm come true.  I'm sure you can find people doing whatever it is you both find appealing which will give you examples of what toys to buy and how to apply them.

What are you into / looking for?

[The inspector]

Essanym is right. It’s horses for courses.

My wife doesn’t get bondage at all and turns her nose up at the idea. So for me it’s also when the house is empty. By reading your original post, it sounds like you aeady are making the right steps. Your both consenting and you both were into it.

My only suggestion would be a safe word/action for anything more than the handcuffs you describe. Watch your partners reactions to things to ensure it remains fun and she wishes to continue.

[vanessa_fetish]

We are only into basic bedroom bondage, that's all really. Just me tying her up and gagging her etc.
Maybe I just need to chill out and play things by ear?

Check your local scene to see if there are any organizations or dungeons etc given rope courses. Not a good idea to play by ear, as there are areas of the body to take into consideration.

I will check my drives for lesson plans that I use for teaching bondage.

To start, check out pages on knots. Find the reef knot/square knot, and learn that one first. That should be the first you learn before any other knots - it is the easiest to learn and one of the safest to use.

[Strappado]

There are a lot of tutorials for partner bondage on the internet. Twisted Monk, for example, has published a nice series of basic rope ties on youtube. This is quite different from using handcuffs, but maybe just the right thing for you (or not at all). You could watch some of these tutorials together and decide together, if you want to give it a try. This includes buying some length of suitable rope, which is also discussed there (and in many other places). And look inside, what happens in your and her wet dreams? We all tend to hide some of our desires, because we think, they are not appropriate or impossible etc. If you want to spice up your sex-life, be a bit more daring. Talk to each other and experiment (this is, where the safeword is mandatory, I think). And, after all, remember the three commands of BDSM (which includes bondage of course): Safe, sand and consensual.

[vanessa_fetish]

If you use steel handcuffs, don't use the cheap ones. Use real ones (you can find cheap on Ebay). Reason being is the vast majority of the cheap ones do not lock proper and are made of softer steel. Years back I used a set, the latch lock didn't work and it bent. Result being that even though I got them off fairly quick I still to this day have some nerve damage at the base of my right thumb.